# A Letter To Her
It is heart breaking story to know from origin.
What’s occuring into your marriage is depressing to destroy your love for him. I’m wholly sure that you are doing your best to try to control your reactions, but your emotions will dominate you, as they should in your situation. Whether he can’t quietly discuss your problems or avoids talking about it at all. As per consideration, you need professional help you in this crisis.
What has happens wrong to you?
How are you facing your problems?
I know you are going to him for the solution, possibly for the problems that he can’t handle it. He may have either tried to solve the problems in the beginning. His depression may be of his failure to provide solutions or maybe he feels he is the problem. Whether as you try to talk to him, he might be angrier with himself and so on is with you. Either he is reacting to that feeling with expressions of anger or depression.
What is depressing to him?
What makes him feel so angry?
I really feel that it’s all makes you alone those days. I guess you are in a series of trouble. I think you believe in staying married to one person all your life. I admires how panicked you feel, and under the circumstances you may wish to visit your parents to provide you with the support and protection, you need.
Alas, I am so sad to listen your life’s circumstances. May this can’t be happens to in future. It’s my heartly wishes to you , to have happiness in your further life.
Love to hearing from you,
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence comprises violence against women and girl children in the home with an emphasis on physical acts of abuse and neglect. Though domestic violence is the growing ubiquity of gender – specific violence in public spaces, rape and sexual harrassment at the workplace.
Causes of Domestic Violence-
Violence implies that when the body— and indeed the self—is vulnerable to violation, individuals have a very different notion of ‘what is one’s body and what is done to one’s body’.It is a coercive mechanism ‘to assert one’s will over another, to prove or to feel a sense of power’. At every stage in the life, the female is both the object of desire and of control. These have direct bearing on the status of women, not only in terms of the number and quality of relationships to which they have to adapt and the distribution of functions and roles, but also with regard to the allocation of resources.
Finally, despite the ubiquity of violence, micro-studies may well to the emergence of alternate discourses which question a dominant familial ideology in many ways.
Types of Domestic Violence-
(i) Female Foeticide and Infanticide-
Dealing with unwanted daughters is the misuse of medical tests for female foeticide and increasing incidence of infanticide in areas of the country.
This is particularly in India where abortion (medical termination of pregnancy or MTP) is a form of birth control encouraged by the medical establishment. It is essential that feminists should avoid being forced to counterpose the rights of (future) women to be born against the rights of (present) women to have control over their bodies.
(ii) Violence in the Conjugal Home-
Marriage is considered essential for a girl in India. It’s safe transference of a girl into the hands of the husband is given prime importance. Nothing describes the transient nature of a girl’s brief life in her parent’s home that a girl is wealth (dhan) which belongs ultimately elsewhere (paraya).
Abuse of wives and wife beating is the most common form of abuse in India. In India, studies have correlated childhood abuse, alcoholism, unemployment, and poverty.
(v) The Ageing Person within the Home
There are a growing number of aging people in families and households. The neglect of ailments by family members is quite common and extremely demoralizing for the aged. The inability to work, lack of finances, and failing health accounted for ill-treatment. The level of satisfaction among women was higher than among men. Old couples have to rely on one another.
Talk to the person and let him or her know that you’re concerned. Note down the things you’ve noticed. They need help to get out have been isolated from their family and friends.
|Do’s and Don’ts|
|Ask if something is wrong||Wait for him or her to come to you|
|Express concern||Judge or blame|
|Listen and validate||Pressure him or her|
|Offer help||Give advice|
|Support his or her decisions||Place conditions on your support|
|Source- NYS Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence|
Note- I would like to read a copy of Meena Kandasamy’s new book, When I Hit You, as it is for women problems/ issues/circumstances and how they overcome to their problems. I loves to read fiction books. Morever, it is around a women, her life and her efforts. I’m eager to know the combination of medical advice, cautionary tale and lived experience to her and she plays her role confidently. I admires that how courageous she is to take responsibility to write over her own life.